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EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

SO….

Last week I was all up in my feelings about my sons going to college. While I am THRILLED that they have this opportunity to branch out of their comfort zones, grow, and find their way in the world, I am also TERRIFIED of what cruel and vicious surprises may be lurking out there.

I’m a mom. It comes with the job description.

BUT….

I’m also pleased to say that as the last two weeks have gone by, I am adjusting. It might not be as quick or as easy as I would like for it to be, but I’m getting there.

This entire experience got me to thinking about another one of the Six Dimensions of Wellness that I posted about earlier – EMOTIONAL WELLNESS.

As described by Dr. Bill Hettler and the National Wellness Institute:  

“The emotional dimension recognizes awareness and acceptance of one’s feelings. Emotional wellness includes the degree to which one feels positive and enthusiastic about oneself and life. It includes the capacity to manage one’s feelings and related behaviors including the realistic assessment of one’s limitations, development of autonomy, and ability to cope effectively with stress. The well person maintains satisfying relationships with others. Awareness of, and accepting, a wide range of feelings in yourself and others is essential to wellness. On the wellness path, you’ll be able to express feelings freely and manage feelings effectively. You’ll be able to arrive at personal choices and decisions based upon the synthesis of feelings, thoughts, philosophies, and behavior. You’ll live and work independently while realizing the importance of seeking and appreciating the support and assistance of others. You’ll be able to form interdependent relationships with others based upon a foundation of mutual commitment, trust, and respect. You’ll take on challenges, take risks, and recognize conflict as being potentially healthy. Managing your life in personally rewarding ways, and taking responsibility for your actions, will help you see life as an exciting, hopeful adventure.” 

Emotional wellness follows these tenets:

• It is better to be aware of and accept our feelings than to deny them.

• It is better to be optimistic in our approach to life than pessimistic.

It is very specifically the last two tenets that I am focusing on: being aware of and accepting my feelings, and being optimistic.

Awareness and acceptance was my greatest challenge up until this point. I was raised in a “culture” where we control our emotions, we don’t talk about our emotions, and we certainly don’t put our emotions out there for the world to see.

But I have learned that it’s okay to put your emotions out there. In fact, you might actually be helping someone else out by letting them see that you’re struggling, too.

When I started my health and wellness journey, emotional wellness was something I deliberately DID NOT focus on. I didn’t want to examine my feelings about my husband being diagnosed with a chronic, incurable illness. I didn’t want to think about the financial hit we took while he couldn’t work. I didn’t want to share the emotions eating me alive as we struggled to adjust to his new normal and the impact it had on every single aspect of our lives.

But, as I learned more about general health and wellness and began to focus on ALL the aspects of a well-rounded life, I FINALLY understood “it is better to be aware of and accept our feelings than to deny them.”

So, as I am adjusting to this new life situation – my sons off to college – rather than spend months, or even a year or more, fighting my emotions, I have been working on AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE and it has made this transition so much better.

It doesn’t mean I don’t miss them. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have my moments, but that’s all they are at this point – moments. Not an entire day wrecked, physical symptoms like headaches, upset stomach, or anxiety attacks, or severe mood swings.

Awareness and Acceptance can also help you realize when NOT being okay is something more serious and needs to be addressed by a professional.

Not everyone wants to put their feelings out there. Not everyone wants to sift through their thoughts and emotions. Sometimes people don’t even want to acknowledge that they feel ANYTHING at all.

But if you want to experience greater health and wellness, maybe taking a closer look at your emotional wellness is a good place to start.

Until next time….

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